hurry up please, its time...

am leaving in a bit... sukhada and sunita came yesterday but i couldnt give much time to them... running around... recorded some interviews for the tsunami programme... asking everyone to carry on with the project... arif is back... nazia refuses to help me pack, says i should stay some more... saying good byes is not my cup of tea...

good bye sweet ladies... good bye...

i am thinking about the next phase mingled with some introspection about this one... lots of work and very little time...

hurry up please, it's time... hurry up please, it's time...

that twinkle on the sea...

phew! our first narrow casting session... we had around 30 people... some came an hour before and some came good two hours late... we started after 330 pm instead of 230 pm... after gulping a few hiccups (like people turning up in fewer numbers and late, like pradhan wanting to join after lunching at 330, like tiny setting up glitches), we began...

we had a bonus programme about settlers... remember miracles?

for a long time i wondered if anyone was absorbing anything at all... there was a cricket match going on in the school ground next to the panchayat community hall...

after programmes on women's unemployment and fishing i spotted few nods at the right places... then pradhan said women should try on their own and not wait for external help... does it mean somewhere it pinched him?

pradhan was reeking of alcohol... it was funny to hear him talk about efforts to stop "sharaab ki problem" in the radio programme... however, every alternate programme kept his attention and hence the interest of samiti members... he laughed out loud and clapped couple of times...

bengali songs, written or composed or sung by the community members were loved... bhalo lagchi... mormontic gaan achhi...

panchayat secretary was warm and said he loved the programmes... later he promised he will make sure the project goes on because it is important and because so much energy has been invested... touche...

however, people were hesitant to react in front of the panchayat presence... mostly only the members spoke...

430 pm... sun starts setting... women who had come at 1 pm start worrying about walking back home and were fidgety... i stared hard at the sky trying to tell that dog up there to stay a little longer... you can will rain into showers but not sun into over time... hmmm... you can also will people into staying...

one guy spoke about how people drink because of lack of recreation options... alright, but beat up women and children because of lack of diversion???

couple of women came to me after the programme was over, spoke to me about how women - no matter how strong willed and determined they are - do need external support... that stiff behaviour of men - as husbands, fathers, society does not help their case at all... girls here are married off very early...

some came to me with more ideas... pollution, environment, education etc... philip and sadhana asked me if we could give them some kind of identity letter if they wanted to interview the DC... savita, who lost her father last month and has to look after her bedridden mom, said she loved the programmes and will keep in touch... she said she cant participate because of her family problems but will keep calling me...

this counts more than their promise of completing 10 episodes and getting a certificate...

end of the day, i spoke for 5 min... explained the same orientation day stuff... medium, tool in their hands, empowerment et al... was shit scared before we started...

but somehow things are much simpler when you have given that one honest shot...

impossible is nothing...

we recorded some interviews on the subject of settlers... which means i must put out that programme in tomorrow's narrowcasting session... am trying to achieve the impossible... any minute spent elsewhere including on this blog, will not be the best thing to do... so...

i'll be back... in a bit... after miracles happen...

candle light editing and sound of rain...

winding through turns and twists to wandoor, trees and leaves quivered under the happy wet rain-filled clouds... in a bit... it rained like mad and i felt mad happy... we did some work, which is, recording the rain... and we were en route again... this time the trees and leaves were squeaky chirpy... and the wind was beautiful... i forgot my tension of editing the other three programmes... anyway... am back and back to listening to the rain... some branch fell over something and now there is no electricity... it may not come back for a while... nazia and i found candles in 2 min... eureka! (when was the last time u found candles or torch in 5 min of current conking, tell me tell me!)

so its candle light editing till the back up lasts and then am going to go to bed with sounds of drip drip, rim jhim rim jhim, dhad dhad, jhir jhir, shir shir... nothing more beautiful than raindrops on the sea...

he loves me, he loves me not...

HE is the god, the allah, the force, of radio lighthouse...

just finished editing our first programme on alcohol related issues... will freeze it with the team tomorrow... HE loves me...

this was the easiest as the team had done lots of work on editing... the other four may be a lot tougher... scripts ready but everything else remains, chopping, linking, rearranging... and I'll have to do it on my own... HE loves me not...

sukhada, the bijli is a big ray of hope (she is bijli, the lightening, right?) today she edited one interview snap snap snap in 15 min and it was purrrrfect! HE loves me...

i wish the team members had done this editing but since computer connections have not happened so far, i am slightly worried about their training in editing software... amit and rachel have stopped accompanying me because of some other deadline... HE loves me not...

i found the "khol daro" song on 194th track on one MD after two days of frantic quest... you have no idea how much HE loves me...

we are hiring some good speaker guy... am thinking of asking groups to prepare some note, some poster for their programme... electricity connection finally happened today with some tiny short circuit (sceaaarrryyy) interruption... things aren't perfect but narrow casting session should be... HE surely will love me by Saturday evening...

buzzing... busyyyying... zzzzziiing...

story of mental...

this is not so much about the project or the programmes... this is about one woman in wandoor who everyone calls mental...

she is a bit squint eyed... she comes to panchayat almost everyday... she complains that the money that she was supposed to get is never given to her... an ngo is helping her, somebody is building a house for her... currently she is found cribbing and crying in panchayat or asking for food in some known houses or in the corner of a half-destroyed-in-earthquake house...

bits that i gathered... she was married long time back when she was a child... then her husband died... she went mad... but she was always slightly mental... she landed in wandoor... she got pregnant by no-one-knows-who... her children are looked after by her parents and some other relatives in some other place... no one really looks after her... there have been attempts to leave her far off... in boat, in bus... but she finds her way back to wandoor... she was beaten up few times... coz she is a nuisance you see...

people talk about her, talk to her, feed her, humour her, shout at her, some say she is not mental, many insist she is... wandoor is used to mental and her swings... they react accordingly...

she wept and sobbed and told her story all over again in panchayat yesterday... some tch tch... some sympathy smiles... some left feeling uncomfortable around her loud wailing... some offered her water... but no one actually handed a glass to her... she stood sobbing saying nothing... she walked away... she came an hour later feeling better... she reminded some of us about what we have to do to get her the money she is supposed to get and needs...eyes still empty full... looking in different directions... still hoping she may see and live a better day... she said something about gaps in her teeth...

and you will find this "mental" in each and every village, and many more, in each and every city...

possible electricity connections...

i have been waiting for this electricity connection to happen in wandoor village knowledge centre... and now we have the material, the computer, the willing electrician...
now it just has to happen...

i have been waiting for this radio lighthouse to start talking in wandoor panchayat community hall and beyond... and now we have the teams, the recordings, the scripts...
now it just has to happen...

tomorrow i resume my hyper breathless mumbai self... i have to edit, mix, teach, edit more, mix more, teach more...

and absorb and soak in the place, breathe and live each moment, whisper and shout out the voices of the people...

and then electricity will happen to tomorrow... and radio lighthouse on Saturday...

dhoom machale...

tiny post today... (it's weekend!)

lectured amit endlessly... he promised to carry on with the project... people edited nick name interviews... one laptop had some problems and it was talking like a toon character... nazia with her self-destruct button declared herself minnie of micky mouse... we ragged her till we couldn't anymore... wrote script for nick names...

now the best thing about port blair... there may not be a theatre here (i feel like a fluttery flat fish out water without my bollywood mush masala!) but ... every new release reaches here that very day in form of pirated original quality dvds...

am going to watch dhoom 2... now... on my tv with nazia...

have a good weekend and go dhooooom...

gundu, papa, kutty, munna, mithu, mamuni, vicky...

gundu, papa, kutty, munna, mithu, mamuni, vicky... these are the nick names of sane, seniorish, hard working seeds staffers... yes, today i didn't step out into the long-winding-getting-lost-in-the-greens roads... the day was marked for in-house training... intensive crash course for seeds staff in port blair... for the simple reason that they will carry forward the work that we manage to do till December 9th...

ajit and zainu are the producers and presenters...

and to get back to gundus, kuttys... the task was to produce a radio feature on nick names... lots of exploring, unearthing and investigating... (you have no idea how much people can resist while giving out their nick names... which is why their identities will be protected on this post! i can blackmail them forever, you see) so...

we discussed the subject very seriously - why nick names, what kinds, cultural importance, effects on childhood, adolescence - and of course digging out the papas, kuttys, gundus and munnas out of very unlikely personalities... then we talked about film stars and nick names, chichi, lolo, etc etc...

we'll edit tomorrow... also talked about types of programmes - features, documentary, montage, news bulletin, interview, panel talks... including sound elements like sound actuality, location sounds, symbolic sounds, music, transition music...

clown music, baby sounds, college campus, "tube light," "moti", "gundu," "vicky," "papa"... sounds fun?

also rachel, sukhada, sunita improved on wandoor scripts and made a list of possible sounds... i think all five programmes are taking shape... good shape...

what do you think of the sound of the word TOINK TOINK!! ? like calvin has just solved a math problem? like he is off to catch mad bugs with hobbes?

bye bye brindaban...

and we packed up in brindaban... before that rachel, amit, sukhada, went to ward no 3 and interviewed many "excited" (surprise surprise!) people... i talked to samaan's mom, amma, and got recipe of lucknow ki biryani and an invite for a biryani meal...

cool! except that we are not going that side... not that i don't want to, but with limited time and resources, it is perhaps better to set an example of one complete community radio experiment in wandoor, rather than two near-complete, still-getting-there instances...

people here keep saying, unless driven to state of poverty and perhaps starvation or unless paid in lucrative amounts of money, no body will learn anything new... i still don't want to entirely believe it but well...

tiny houses hidden in coconut and supari clusters, shield a lot of information - what people do all day, how do they brew their daily dose of drinks, how did tsunami relief affect their lives, change their attitude, what is in store if basic social indicators of health are ignored but money flow continues, will they ever have a vibrant media, do they need it...

many questions, few answers... as is the case most of the time...

even as we were leaving... all the 2-3 year old toddlers in mahila mandal creche continued to chirp,
duniya hai gol,
nani ki einak hai gol,
nana ki topi hai gol,
mummy ki roti gol gol,
papa ka paisa gol gol...
duniya hai gol...

small is beautiful...

everything went off mostly as per plan, we now have four scripts almost-ready, two teams went out and did interviews... now am going only on Monday... tomorrow is perhaps my last session in brindaban... then intensive training for seeds bunch in office on Friday and Saturday... and then back to wandoor on Monday... spoke to panchayat secretary about a narrow casting session on Dec 9th...

discussed all possible bengali and otherwise delicacies while waiting for rakesh, who was bringing us lunch... man, we are a "petoo" lot...

saw a funny half cut bamboo sticking out on our way back... may be if we blew into it, it would whistle a nicobari tune?

no news is good news... or am i getting brindaban blues???

khol daro...

today was a continuation of previous power packed wandoor session... except that we started a bit late due to a trip to the hospital and a marriage in the community... all ok...

today i took "scripting class"... creative juices did not disappoint me and we had conversations about ganga puja, (that's a bengali puja for the sea at the start of fishing season), songs about islands and about opening of doors... we thought of sounds like breaking of glass, filling up of glass, slurry sounds for alcoholism related programme... kitchen sounds, poems written by team members...

taking the example of first, fishing group, we wrote most of the script... also we interviewed fishermen's association secretary and one more tsunami victim... two groups interviewed panchayat pradhan with tons of retakes... since all of them are vaguely related everything was loads of fun and there was no impatient wrapping up... we are planning to finalise scripts tomorrow... some made notes, some discussed, some have planned to meet up in the evening...

also met up with pankaj sekhsaria, from kalpavriksh... trying to meet like-minded people... was good.. hoping to interview him about loads of issues...

tomorrow savitaji is going sing khol daro again.. with additional lines... (perfectionist i say) it is a song about need for opening the doors and letting change in... khol daro... is right...

look back in anger...

brindaban... ah the land of krishna and radha romance... land of fun and masti... exactly what it is... where people yak yak and don't work... anyway... it was a repeat of Friday, more or less... we had one group, just about, vaguely willing to talk...

yes, samaan's mom got s.kalyani for an interview and sangeetha spoke animatedly about how she wants self-employment stuff... amma - she looks after kids in the creche - nodded and was sympathetic... they all agreed that nothing can happen in brindaban unless wooed with monetary incentive... FAT hopes!

Rachel recorded kids singing and i interviewed this old lady, s kalyani... this pack of bones told me about her daughters' wedding, drunkard son-in-law, empty stomach night sleep, 20-year-old widowhood, leaking roof, loans... all with toothless smile... "humko ladki se nahin puch sakta..." she said simply...

so to be fair to the ones who came, i am going to have one intensive one-day-training and then allah kareem... and then concentrate my energies on wild wild wandoor...

my return ticket's done for December 12... we plan to have a narrow casting session before that... also meeting some like minded people, who could help in some radio work... 14 days remain... is that less time, more time or just enough??? that's also the maximum duration for police remand (try getting crime and court reporting out of your system!)... in a fortnight a black dark nothing becomes a bright beautiful moon... i guess, the time is just right...

aage aage dekho...

Yesterday was a five star day – very useful, very well spent, very very tiring… beginning of a good day is reaching before time… all five groups turned up as per scheduled time… all of them were ready to give interviews, some to ready to take interviews, some willing to present… one group called itself “pragati” (progress)…

Rachel recorded, helped groups record, ask questions, saved and played those interviews… I took each and every subject after recording and made detailed note on aspects, points, interviewees, and linking clips with them… fishing, women’s options, alcoholism, need for dance schools, education and unemployment were the five subjects…

There was provision for light refreshment but this place is so far from anywhere that zainu and amit spent a good one hour getting garlic laden samosas…

We had an additional group who has promised something for Tuesday… Also there were additional members of panchayat, social workers, elders of the community… amit was exceptionally quiet… (Later we got it out of him that he and his friend had crashed a bike and he was hurt, scared, etc etc… these teenagers I tell you!) So no sher-o-shayari today – bhuki pyaasi Rachel aur zakhmi Amit…

There was some Bengali festival and women kept coming and blowing conch and making shrill, howly sounds (similar to namboodiri aripu) in front of the temple next to panchayat community hall…

Now more homework for us, me, Rachel, Amit… we must log all the interviews before Tuesday and make notes about what else is required per group… scripting should start soon… also electricity connection, setting up of the computer should happen by this week so that the groups start using the village knowledge centre and start conceiving ideas for further programming… I hope to have a narrow casting session in each community before I make an early exit…

We once again skipped lunch... that Rachel looked drained is an understatement… we went for a good lunch and a good well-deserved laugh… we came back very late (630 pm is laaaaate and pitch dark!) and everyone had left as it was Saturday… Rakesh got us home made rotis and that felt like a "sone pe suhaaga" reward… we did happy girlie talks and updating the blog was happily kept for later… the painful peaceful shiver that runs through your spine as u touch the bed after a 14 hour constructive day… and it is Sunday…

of cold wadas, empty rooms, long rides...

reached brindaban by the 10 am in the vehicle ferry...

waiting for us was dashing dadi and few creche kids... and of course sukhada, the bijli... before amit could get depressed, i started training for rachel, alam, amit, sukhada... two women who look after the creche, insisted that they would learn only when others come... another one, samaan's (means sam- aan, allah ki sunanevala) mom was convincingly cynical... the others of course never turned up... but to bank on the brighter side of things, seeds team learnt recording, editing, putting things on cool edit...

then ammini, a panchayat member, strolled in.. plaster did the trick again.. she felt bad about the conspicuous-by-absence situation and learnt things from sukhada... heard her interview on cool edit intently...

by then samaan's mom had warmed up and we discussed issues like alcohol, relief, lucknow ki tehzeeb, how alcohol is prepared at home and how everyone - men and women - have a list excuse-like-occasion to drink, fatigue, wedding, death, birth, salary (pretty much every evening...)

it was 230 and while we waited for our vehicle, our in house shayars, rachel and amit, "procured" some vadas, rotis, sambhar...well established truth - hunger makes anything taste good... even rock-like dal wada and soggy cold "ched vada." samaan's mom got some lovely lucknow style semiyan sweet for us... needless to say, we hogged... alam's head and my hand and everyone's mood - painfully heavy...

try listening to "tujhe dekh dekh sona, tujhe dekhkar hai jagna... tujhme basi hai meri jaan... hai.. jiya dhadak dhadak jaye" as u bump n swish through rotting coconut trees... thinking about the bar that all moms are worried about... remembering that look of school going kids as they follow "five star cycle ice cream"... in a half surreal tired sleep i dreamt of teenage boys with the same look following the "dhinchak" bar... i woke up to shayri of amit, rachel, and giggles about my sleep swaying...

samaan's mom has promised to bring one woman on monday for an interview about poverty, shelters and old age... did i say convincingly cynical???

kya karen? tujh mein basi hai meri jaan... jiya dhadak dhadak jaye...

wild wild wandoor...

training in wandoor...

by the time we reached wandoor via g b pant hospital and a medical check up, we were a good 2 hours late and sunita was pacing up and down... several people had left and we were left with around 15,20 people... gulping the lump of guilt... i started... plastered hand gets sympathy, gives health related ideas and everyone wants to do everything for you! so all in all an ok deal!

anyway, panchayat secretary and pradhan were both interested and so were other 4,5 members... they were quick to suggest ideas, which were not tsunami related (surprise surprise!) and were receptive to the livelihood programme... we discussed ponnalagu's story... how she and her husband rebuilt their chai-naashta shop out of nothing... impressive story impresses everyone... no exceptions here...

five groups have been formed... sukhada recorded some mock interviews (another benefit of being plastered... everyone learning super fast...) some goof up in playing and some candid conversations were played... good fun...

most of them are bengalis... they asked if they could make programmes in bengali... i said of course they could but perhaps broken hindi would reach more... tourism related employment, women's options, infrastructure, fisheries, were some of the subjects...

then an interview session with me - marriage, work, marathi, malayalam, cooking, hospital, hand, hmmm... inquisitive, i say... and of course they arm twisted (ouch!) me into speaking bengali (and of course had a good laugh!) kintu tumi amake jani na.. ami bangla khoob jani...

i visited one intermediate shelter... heard about their past glory of house with 4 bedrooms, cows, poultry, coconut, fishing... sitting in the oven-like tin box house... it had a fancy tv with cable but no fan... people swat flies literally as they watch remix videos... perhaps representative of the way "development" is developing...

storms in tea cups times

last three days have been... hmmm... tough...

first training session in wandoor got cancelled because of a rally and MP visit...

then the book with my interview notes disappeared (it reappeared just now... a sign of sunrise...)

then disagreement and disappointment with AIR and angry depression with my bambaiyya outbursts... i must mind my colourful language in front of innocent coconut-fish people...

then i dislocate my elbow and now in silly plaster for 3 weeks... my embarrassing 2 hour howling "nautanki" will be imitated by rehman and rakesh in due course of time... they were the cutest though!

the devils will have to try harder... time to crack my whip on the forces of unknown!!!

we resume tomorrow... one session with seeds staff already done... ha ha ha... we are making a funny programme on nick names...

the answer my friend, is blowin in the wind... listening... believing... living...

shuruvaat...

day one of training...

as we reached brindaban my heart which was somewhere in my "sukha gala" popped out for a second... there were tiny kids who come there to play and 10, 12 curious-but-at-the-same-time-skeptical women... thought of the domesticated deer eyes on ross island who look at tourists a bit mockingly as if we are the weird ones (quite right too!)... hmmm...

alam introduced the programme as amit set the laptop and the speakers. rakesh spoke to dadi i.e. janakidevi, president of mahila mandal, (she is a verrrry old and rock solid mixed with tadka tongue)... initially i was fidgeting restlessly but once it started, it went off smoothly most of the time...

gist of what i said -

community radio is radio productions made by a commnunity for the community, ways of broadcast can differ, AIR, worldspace, internet, narroawcasting, a separate station, all of this...

local issues which may never be addressed by the mainstream media can be tackled...

even if the community cant reach the authorities, their voices can... people who obviously matter, and others who may not but why not reach them too...

they would have learnt an additional skill of programme producing...

they can talk about good things (a kid topping ssc - couldnt think of anything better), bad things (so many - electricity, funds allocations, water... ), information and awareness (health, disaster management, education related)...

then i played a programme on livelihood for about 10 minutes... [arif later pointed that any english anywhere in my talk or in an interview in the programme is not understood and so not appreciated! it is an illusion that people speak hinglish... they dont... point taken... ]

i asked about possible subjects... two oldish women complained about not getting their houses after tsunami... we discussed possibilities of making a programme on the subject of sheltering...

people here are weary of outsiders coming and handing out doses on development... as soon as someone said, "bahar se na jane kitne log aakar wapas chale jate hain.. kuch badalta nahi hai..." for a fraction of second thought this is clean bowled! but someone up there intervened in my head and i said, "isi liye to aaphi ko seekha rahe hain... taki aapko kisi baharwale ki jaroorat hi na pade!" (PHEW in my head with one trickle of sweat...) some nodding smiles from the audience...

then we divided them in groups of four per group... by this time few more women had arrived and we had four groups of four members... when i asked them to pick a subject for their group, the group with those two women complaining about shelters said they would do a programme on electricity... (question mark feeling is right!) and what i did not expect happened...

one of them was annoyed... argued with sukhada... that we dont want to do a programme on her shelter problem first... sukhada being our spunky sukhada argued firmly with a sweet smile... that it was HER group members who picked the subject... i tried intervening with a promise that we make tsunami programme before electricity one... and that we all would make many more programmes together... wagera wagera... (small phew again!)

as i sat among them and discussed different topics like water, possibilities for educated women sitting "khali" at home, poverty, tsunami (of course!), electricity (also!) i started hoping that they would turn up on wednesday... sangeetha and four others have promised to...

tomorrow a repeat of this in wandoor... but the crowd is co-ed i.e. guys and girls... i still have enough butterflies in my tummy to keep me on high alert all of tomorrow... and perhaps longer...

once upon a time...

this is to give a brief history in time about how and when and why...

sometime in 2004... sajan venniyoor (community radio campaigner and our star! he can sort anything!) asked me to meet anshu sharma for a tiny radio assignment... it started as a 10 min programme on the 100th anniversary of kangra earthquake... totally mad and completely successful... bharosa i.e. trusting begins...

anshu has been keeping track of community radio developments since i-dunno-when... he will add his notes... soon...

then few months later a report on permanent shelters in andaman and nicobar islands... i meet shivangi, rehman, rakesh, arif in seeds portblair... learn about their phenomenal efforts since tsunami... meet many more officials, victims, survivors... something starts to take a very vague but piercing shape...

then a trip to delhi and talk talk talk about possibilities... the coolest thing about all of us, is we love to imagine our kind of situations, scenes, cities, villages... so that gives us the push to to do what we imagine... so after bharosa and on location experiences, planning starts...

then a plan from my side, then a schedule from seeds and after all of us waiting for my leave, funds, decision on location, go ahead from portblair team (shivangi, rehman, and more),we have finally begun...

after compromises, adjustments, bending back and forth, running around round and round... tomorrow i am starting training in brindaban... in the next one month we hope to achieve what we wanted to in six months... instead of 3 we have one recorder... compromising is on time and tools, not targets...

at about 430 pm today, on my way back from ross island (it's a pretty island about 20 min away from port blair) the boat seemed to walk into the sun... signal from the divine? journey to sun shall begin... or has it already started?

first wave

radio lighthouse...

for-the-record-introduction - an initiative by seedsindia... started in andaman and nicobar islands... target of producing 15 min programmes with the help of community members... larger plan of replicating the project in other states of india...

and for my gutspill (check aaj ke naam) - a dream of a bunch of radio enthusiasts... an effort to understand people, worries, "issues" so to say... a plan to crack the medium... a compelling urge to handover a tool and a possibility to the people whose stories are never "broken" and lead a more or less excluded, not "exclusive" life AND may have gotten used to it... a gutwrenching desire to be that ray of a lighthouse... that twinkle on the sea... that decisive moment for a lost ship...

here's to whispers, questions, statements, shouts, songs, roars, thunders...
here's to sounds...
sounds of you, me, city, village, town, coconut, fish, coral, life...